Talking About Stereotypes

The Scene
"I hope there aren’t a lot of black players at camp, it wouldn’t be fair," ten-year-old Joshua says while packing his bags for basketball camp. "Everyone knows, since I am white, I am at a disadvantage against them.”

It's amazing how children absorb societal stereotypes, even if we avoid them at home. Children are aware of racial differences by the time they're preschoolers. And by the age of 12, children have developed an image of most racial or ethnic groups in America.

Only by actively challenging stereotyping can we help our children overcome the lessons they may inadvertently learn from friends, television, and even textbooks.

The Words You Need
Here are some ideas to help you talk with your kids about stereotypes.

The Words: "I'm wondering why you think that about blacks?"

The Reason: In a non-threatening way, try to find the roots of your children's generalizations. Are they stereotyping because they only have limited experience with the minority group they are describing? Do their ideas come from movies, television, or books? Help them think about where they are getting their misinformation. This is a good time to talk about how easy it is to draw erroneous conclusions from a few examples.

The Words: "Actually, not all blacks are good at basketball."

The Reason: Let children know that you understand why they might believe a stereotype, but that, in fact, it's not true. Being born into a particular race or ethnicity does not make someone automatically good (or bad) at sports, math, science, dancing, making money, or anything else.

The Words: "Thinking that all people of a particular group are alike is called 'stereotyping.' Can you think of any examples?"

The Reason: Make sure your children understand the concept of "stereotyping" and how to identify it -- whether it's based on race, ethnicity, religion, age, gender, etc. Talk with them about how stereotyping can lead to prejudice, discrimination, and even genocide and ethnic cleansing.

The Words: "Sometimes people like us get stereotyped, too, have you ever heard the expression “white men can’t jump?”

The Reason: One way to help children understand what it feels like to be dehumanized by stereotyping is to talk about ways that your family might be stereotyped. Talk about how your family fits or doesn't fit some stereotypes.

The Words: "Even though it sounds positive to say that blacks excel at basketball, it's still a stereotype."

The Reason: Sometimes children think that stereotypes are only harmful if they are bad. In fact, any kind of stereotype is hurtful because it denies individual differences and promotes discrimination.

The Words: "The basketball players who will excel at camp are the ones who practice a lot and are committed to self improvement and doing their best.”

The Reason: You can begin to help children understand how cultural values and family concerns can influence children’s interests and achievements. Point out that there are extremely successful basketball players in all colors, shapes, and sizes.

The Words: "Stereotyping is kind of complicated. Let's keep talking about it."

The Reason: Let your children know that these kinds of conversations are ongoing.

Keep The Discussion Going
Talk with your children about stereotypes that emerge in conversation, on television, or in the news. And think about the stereotypes you have about people whose race and/or ethnicity differs from yours. Exploring our own biases will help our children grow up less biased, as will talking openly and positively about race, religion, and cultural similarities and differences.

Into Action
Encourage your children to explore friendships across racial and ethnic lines at school and in other activities. Their lives will also be enriched by your multiracial, multiethnic friendships. If you live in an isolated or segregated neighborhood, filling your home with multicultural art and literature, taking trips to other neighborhoods or cities, and using museums and libraries will provide your kids with essential multicultural experiences.

Liz Garland served as the National Director for the Zink the Zebra Foundation, Inc. from 2001to 2006. Before coming to Zink, she worked for three different Girl Scout councils in a variety of positions, including directing camp for many years.

Zink is a zebra with spots created by an 11-year-old girl just before she died of bone cancer.Her father started the foundation to promote the understanding and acceptance of human differences through specially created character education programs that help children and adults realize the necessity to respect and show compassion toward others. For more information visit www.zinkthezebra.org.